I have been following Rosalind Sedacca's posting for some time and find that she has good advice for divorcing parents. As a grandmother I very much appreciate this one. I am often asked about "grandparent's rights" -- Sadly the United States Supreme Court has ruled that there is no such thing. All rights flow through the parents.
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
When parents divorce, each member of the family is affected in very unique and personal ways. The age of the child, their gender, their relationship with their siblings, how close they were to each parent and a myriad of other factors all influence the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual repercussions in the months and years ahead.
There re many others whose lives are forever changed by the complexities of divorce. Frequently overlooked and often tragically scarred are the grandparents. Custody issues are hard enough for parents to battle out. Few take into account the consequences for grandparents whose unconditional love for their grandchildren is such a healthy and rewarding part of normal family life.
Once again this is a time for clear thinking on behalf of your children. Should they be deprived of the warmth, intimacy and loving support of grandparents just because you are angry at your former spouse? When you take out your marital frustrations on your in-laws -- your children's grandparents -- it's your children who will suffer.
Grandparents have a special place in the lives and hearts of their grandchildren. Usually they are the ones to spoil the kids, indulge them, take them off your hands when no one else can come to the rescue. Of course, not all grandparents fit the idyllic stereotype, nor are all grandparents emotionally close to their grandchildren. But if your in-laws have a healthy relationship with your children, think long and hard before severing that chord.
A child-centered divorce honors and respects all the adults and children that play a part in your children's lives. One of the primary factors in easing your children through the challenges of separation or divorce is maintaining their lives as closely as possible to their pre-divorce routines. The less disruption in their schedules, day-to-day and month-to-month activities, the easier will be their transition through divorce and beyond.
Spending time with grandma and grandpa, whether every Sunday, once a month or once a year over Christmas or summer vacation, is a routine that means life is going on with some semblance of safety, security and ease. Consider the consequences before interrupting or sabotaging that relationship. Don't deny your children the support system they have come to love and depend upon out of spite, resentment or any other motive not of relevance to your children.
Divorce is tough all around. It behooves you to do the right thing every step of the way. Seek out professional guidance if you need help regarding decisions affecting your children. Let those decisions be motivated by your love for your children - not by your resentment against those who love your children, as well.
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide(TM) to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com
Showing posts with label single parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single parents. Show all posts
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday, October 20, 2008
More Resources for Divorcing Parents
Many resources come across my desk as a family law attorney. These web sites seem interesting although I have not reviewed each one. These comments come from the following site www.onteenstoday.com
Child Centered Divorce Rosalind Sedacca is very active in educating parents about divorce. Her website, “Child-Centered Divorce,” helps parents minimize the emotional trauma for children whose parents are going through a divorce.
Divorce@Suite101 Lots of great resources here with celebrity contributors!
Attachment Parenting Blog Great Dad perspective with three children, 11, 8 and 4, which is a discussion venue for topics relating to single parenting, divorce, fatherhood.
Gabriel Cheong Law “This blog is really great, videos, interesting articles and I am sure very helpful legal advice for sticky situations divorced families get into.” -Nick, 19
Single Parent Survival Guide this is a great blog by Cliff Carlton, posts are spread about, but really useful!
Divorced at 50: What is life like after a 32 year relationship? This blogger spills all.
Judith’s Divorce Blog Reflections on divorce, separation and associated topics by Judith Middleton, who is qualified as a solicitor and an accredited family law specialist. Interesting perspective on this topic!
Dad’s House: “A single dad’s exploits–great music taste and he talks about all aspects of life.” -Mary
Divorce Diva A humorous and sweet perspective to a difficult situation–thank goodness.
Your Child - Your Divorce: Great articles and resources about kids and family going through divorce.
Women’s Divorce Blog “Wow, a lot of really hard hitting articles and topics that are very well organized, a little bit like reading a book in pieces–good.” -Mary, 14.
Glenn Sacks “His stance is tough, but he seems to have a lot of different kinds of columns and resources about divorce!” - Nick, 19.
Life After Divorce: New Horizons: “I like how there are really positive and uplifting articles on this blog!” -Marci
Lifestyle of a Divorced Single Mom:
This is a cute blog with lots of great stories.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
